1.
What is
maturity?
Maturity is certainly
different from what in Anglo-Saxon literature is sometimes referred to as
"mature" (old, aged,...) . A first characteristic in our approach is clear that it is about a qualitative
evolution in the life of a person.
A second element of
definition has to do with the "self" and "the world". The evolution of this certainly has to do with the way people learn to
deal with themselves and with the world. In fact, both seem to be in a mutual relationship.
A third element has to do
with differentiation. Apparently not everyone
goes through the same evolution, and certainly not at the same pace.
A fourth element is related
to the effect of maturity. Being mature has clear advantages in terms of "quality of life" as
experienced by the person himself. In the constant struggle
that people seem to be having with life and its limitations, it is a big
progress when one has learned to find one's own way, as it can reduce pressure,
uncertainty and limit fear to reasonable proportions. They are gradually being replaced by meaning, perspective and wisdom. Maturity also certainly has advantages in terms of productivity of
behavior.
If we try to combine these
four dimensions, this is a possible definition :
Human maturity is: the
extent to which a person has succeeded in developing an attitude to life in
which he/she deals with all aspects of himself/herself in such a way that it
serves both his own sense of satisfaction and social success.
2.
A development in seven layers (1) (2)
In the development of
maturity we can distinguish the following seven phases that follow each other
with a certain overlap:
- Self-knowledge: in
particular to overcome the uncertainty about one's own identity
- Self-confidence: learn to
build on your strengths, that you've discovered in the first phase and which give a sense of security
- Self-relativation :
accepting your weaknesses in order to become realistic and modest
- Self-acceptance: the
resignation of knowing who you are, and being able to live with it,
- Openness: to interact with
your environment with a natural assertiveness and appropriate modesty
- Acceptance: to see things
as they really are, not as you look at them for your own benefit; perspective to focus your energy and attention with wisdom
- Self-inspiration: to become
aware of your values, meaning, and to have the courage to make choices in that
sense
3.
What
determines the dynamics?
To understand
why this development is so different for each individual, the following
elements seem useful:
The positive self-image
that we get from our education gives us the ability to start life with a
certain naivety, so that the experiences from our actions provide the necessary
corrections, resulting in a healthy and nuanced self-image. This allows the
start of our maturity development. Anyone who starts life with a negative self-image clearly plays with a
handicap.
Overestimation and morbid
ambition during the 'Storm and Drive' period of our lives leads us to impossible projects. The humiliation and failure provide us with the impacts and hits that we
need to find ourselves ( self-knowledge , self- confidence and self-relativization) so that our motivations can make the turn from ego
needs to social responsibility in the midlife period.
Those who are under high
emotional pressure in the early stages of life (black pedagogy, Alice
Miller) (2) , will not only develop a negative self-image, but also an
over-developed emotional system that will put a limitation on their learning
capacity because all experiences risk to strengthen the sense of
victim, and thereby limit learning capacity. This is certainly the case
because this type of education (with emotional pressure) apparently also slows
down the development of the pre-frontal cortex in the human brain, which determines our capacity for overview,
judgment, learning, self-management, self-reflection ... (3)
If, by the time the midlife period arrives, the maturity is still very low, the person involved is likely to
resist aging and fight the symptoms. Losing this fight leads to negativity
and cynicism. The further this evolution has continued, the more difficult it becomes
to connect with wisdom, perspective, meaning, ... (5)
Hugo Der Kinderen (Dec
2017)
(1) A more detailed description
of these phases of maturity development is available upon simple request (via
e-mail)
(2) This phasing is very close
to the levels of consciousness described by Richard Barret , including in Richard Barret , The New Leadership Paradigm , Amazon, Marston Gate, 2010
(3) See the summary of the work
of Alice Miller in the work of Jean Van der Biest, via the link https://www.google.be/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=9&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwikre2Kv7fXAhWSGuwKHaVdAL8QFghBMAg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.waaromtoch.be%2F&usg=AOvVaw2rqt_vs29RDVR4L5dJnFgm
(4) Walter Mischel , The Marshmallow test, Little Brown & Cy, New York, 2014
(5) For a more detailed description
of the stages of life and behavior, see Bernard Lievegoed, Levensloop van
de mens, Lemniskaat, Rotterdam, 1976
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