41.Self care through following emotions and intuition

This question fits not only into self-care, but also into life planning. Making important decisions, with far-reaching consequences, is best done with the necessary attention and insight. If you decide things for your own better, we hope for a positive outcome, also in the long term!

Before we start: there is an important difference between feelings (emotions) and intuition (gut feeling). Feelings are mental states in which our thinking, observing and acting are dominated (or seriously influenced) by an internal sphere of emotion. An emotion is a state where our brain develops a kind of alarm situation because something is not fully balanced. Positive emotions stimulate us to action because they are a confirmation of what we do, see, want, ... Negative emotions inhibit our action, perhaps allowing us to see, experience, do, etc. things that take us further out of balance, or is rather threatening. An emotion is something biological. Chemical reactions are triggered in our body which, through the action of various neurotransmitters and hormones, evoke an intense experience that is quite overwhelming. It is difficult to ignore them, and perhaps not wise. (not healthy either) They indicate that the reality deviates (or threatens to deviate) from what “our system” needs to restore the internal balance. This balance has to do with the needs of our system. Maslow has given an interesting approach here with his needs hierarchy: physical needs, security needs, togetherness needs, differentiation needs, and needs for self-actualization. It remains a rough approach, but it seems sufficient for this analysis. Our "system" can have unmet needs in every area: physical, togetherness, acceptance, safety, recognition, ... An emotion signals that.

Intuition is clearly different. It is a useful way of assessing a (complex) situation when the alarm function is not active, but where an appeal is made to a mass of (more or less) relevant information about the subject or situation. This mass is located in our memory and is stored in a more or less structured whole. People with strong visual skills, who are good at recognizing and creating patterns, will work here with clear images. People who are less good at that, but have stored a lot of information, will search more information, and perhaps be uncertain, one-dimensional or influenceable. It is not uncommon for people with a limited visual or integration capacity to be more straightforward and less nuanced in their judgment because they limit themselves to facts that are put on straight lines. In that case, being influenced by emotions becomes more likely, and a risk!

The intuition based on the visual capacity fills the empty spaces, compensates for the lack of information and knowledge. It allows you to judge and act even with limited information. The advantage is that much more nuanced thinking is possible, but the risk is that sometimes interpretations are given that are not so realistic. If you need to fill large gaps in knowledge or information, our intuition can sometimes even deceive us because irrelevant material is used.

When making decisions, it would be an advantage if ratio and intuition were combined. This way, the relevance of our intuitive ‘fillings’ would be validated, tested by our knowledge. Where doubt arises we can use the ratio to estimate the risks of wrong vision and conclusion, and determine what we will do with it, what we will do if things go wrong, what we are willing to risk to enjoy the benefits, how heavily we are influenced by specific factors in the context of our ambitions, goals, values, etc. This activity means that we consciously deal with both elements: ratio and intuition, knowledge and images. Our pre-frontal cortex now takes on the role of "conductor" to combine the musicians in our orchestra (our knowledge, scripts, personality) in music (our behavior) that we choose, with realism about certainties and uncertainties, opportunities and consequences. Emotions are then useful to attract our attention to priorities, perhaps also to activate motivation (be careful of "exaggeration"), but nothing more. Then it is up to the ratio, supported by intuition, to make choices. Following your emotions will quickly lead to a ‘zigzag’ line in behaviors and choices, short-term safety, but rarely to a sustainable evolution, progress, development, results. The dominance of the reflex brain is then a fundamental problem. (1)

If people use their rational-intuitive power, they also don’t have to find excuses for their behavior and choices. They have less need to make fate responsible for what happens. The mysteriousness of life needs to be explained much less by woolly concepts and mechanisms. The ‘gods’ no longer have to be invented to take responsibility for what is happening and to justify the hope of happiness. Self-determination and freedom replace destiny and occult powers.

Hugo Der Kinderen

January 2019

(1)    For an excellent sensitization of the disadvantages of using the reflex brain, see the work of Nobel Prize winner Daniël Kahneman , Our fallible thinking, Contact, Amsterdam / Antwerp, 2013