16. The assignment of a coah

Much has already been written about coaching, but there is one dimension that is rarely addressed, and that is the “coach question”. We mean the situation that leads to the coaching. This question is a starting point that has a lot of influence on the coach's further approach; so no “one-size-fits-all” here, please!

We can distinguish the following “coach questions” :

1-       Emotional instability . This means that the coachee has difficulty arranging emotions around a certain situation or problem, and is therefore looking for support. The question usually comes at a time when stability has been lost for some time, and the well-being of the coachee has already been considerably weakened. The internal unrest has already cost a lot of energy, and little or no progress is noticeable. The feeling of being stuck takes the upper hand, and that may have caused the individual to take the step to find or accept a coach. The coachee therefore seeks support in finding support in an emotionally charged situation.

2-       Functional problems . This means that the coachee has felt, possibly as a result of feedback, that something goes wrong with the function or role he/she has in an organization or team. People are not satisfied, and it is not clear to the coachee how he/she should deal with this. This is a search for one's own share in the issue at hand, the role of the context and other people with whom there may be a difference of opinion, interest or style. Of course, the importance of the situation must be big enough to proceed with finding or accepting a coach. Often such a situation precedes the former emotional instability. People walk around with the problem for a long time, find no solution and are under considerable emotional pressure and possibly get stuck. People usually get stuck because they start doubting themselves, and as a result there is an internal emotional weakening. Quite often others in such situations take the initiative for coaching, because the environment seems to be bothered more by the situation than the coachee. If the initiative comes from the environment (e.g. the team, the organization or the management) then this is an important factor for the coach in choosing the right approach.

3-       Life orientation . In this situation, the coachee clearly asks himself whether or not he is in the right place or context. It is about having or not having the right job, being in a suitable organization or being in a more private environment plagued with tensions around positions and previously made choices, such as partner choice, housing choice, family situations, etc. These questions are often related to the life phase of the coachee . The ‘mid-life' period is notorious for this kind of problems, but also performance issues induce this kind of problems. Here too, the inability to resolve the issue over time can demand so much energy that people start to doubt themselves, and that it becomes a coaching question about emotional instability.

4-       Choice problems . This is about practical situations that put the coachee in a dilemma that he/she cannot get out of. It is about searching for the most desirable approach to a specific situation. It is possible, but less likely than in the previous cases, that failure to resolve this situation leads to a problem of emotional instability.

The role of the coach is to help the coachee find a satisfactory way forward. The accent will be different depending on which one of the four previous situations occurs. Sometimes it is more about getting clarity in terms of the content of the problem, but sometimes also about finding more emotional stability (self-confidence, peace, certainty, etc.). If this emotional stability is sufficiently achieved, attention can shift to the more practical issues. But it must always be the approach that the coachee himself comes to certain insights and/or decisions. The coach can help in that area with perspectives, frameworks, criteria, ... reach out, but is never to impose actions, solutions or decisions. The coach should therefore have the discipline to be aware of his/her role at every stage of the coaching process. In addition, personal preference, style, specific competence, conviction, etc.  from the coach must remain subordinate.

Hugo Der Kinderen

August 2017